Illustration: Demetrios Psillos

It is 6am. Behind thick set curtains rain has been falling for an hour or two and dark light of the morning has begun to sneak in around the edges. Though Exeter is far from the coast, seagulls are making seagull noises, sharp and pleasant in the empty morning. A cooing pigeon chimes in for a second, sounding like the woody village – the place where home is always home, regardless of where I move about to.

I have not slept, and have been reading Lucy Mangan of the Guardian. I have decided I like journalism. If it continues this way, I could easily begin to regularly read the Guardian. I could even begin to wear brown corduroy as I hear Guardian readers do. I could, I suspect, be very good at both.

Lucy Mangan has written about the Famous Five, and today has also written a brief James Bond play which centres around a picture. In the picture is a cat that looks suspiciously like a pretend cat I have been making up stories about as of late (also looks much like this). There is also another cat in the picture who looks like a black bear (right).

It is a rather good screen play, and it is not just about cats. It is not something I would usually read, but I have been reading it out loud, amongst tears falling down my face and hissy, noisy sniggers that stopped me talking. Perhaps I was delirious. You can read it here, and I hope it makes you smile if you do. Now I am going to play about with blogging calendars and watch Sherlock Holmes gleefully.