A cat lives in our house. She is brown and called Sub-bass which is is a silly name for a girl cat, or any cat. She is quite nice for a cat but has no manners. She looks cunning when she covers her poo in sand. I am bitter at the cat for making me think crap like this.

This cat likes standing on things and being tall. He is quite elegant and I like his collar. If I had a posh cat that stood up I would call him Lucius and he would like books. He would also live in a dark green study.

This cat is called Rocky though, which is less brilliant and he is watching birds. It seems a good past time for a cat. He is not as good as Keyboard Cat though. I am apathetic about cats but if they make music or watch birds they can be my friend. Maybe I will demand Sub-bass makes a viral for me. I don’t think she has any good skills though.

More info on the cat at boingboing.net who have the latest low-down.

“I really like how it pretends to be directed at women, but really it’s directed at men because it’s too silly. It’s not serious enough,” says Jamie. Perhaps related to the fact he wears old spice, perhaps not.

I like his resemblance to Peep Show’s Johnson and his cockish stupidity, although this is far less excruciating. It’s a brilliant change from a pouting chick rolling around in taffeta or David Beckham in his pants.